So social media is doing one of those 2016 year in review thingies which, can I say, love your photos!
This post ain’t one of them and yeeeeeesssss it’s one of my long winded, meditation, thinking a lot ones so grab a cuppa if you intend to read it! 😜
Comfie? Okay. 👍
For me, my review has been a personal upheaval that has included endings, letting go, embracing new perspectives really examining my own personal values and what and who I believed myself to be, not only reflected in the eyes of my husband, children and those around me, but more importantly, myself.
It has been confronting, rewarding, challenging, uplifting, inspiring and depressing all at once.
This year has taken me squarely by the shoulders, sat me down and presented me, on a platter with everything that I’ve excused, avoided, neglected and abused about myself, cocked an eyebrow and asked, “what are you going to do about it?”
It was hard to look in the mirror and see an inauthentic soul who ran away instead of standing steadfast for fear of what other people thought based on the title and job description of the relationship, who placed people on a pedestal as a priority when all I was to them was an option but did it to keep the peace to avoid confrontation.
If I wanted to stop being a doormat I had to get up off the floor.
If I wanted to move forward, I had to stop blaming folks who I believed and felt were treating me poorly and ask myself why I allowed it and continued to allow it to happen.
To realise that not everyone has earned the right to sit at my table and it was self respect, honour and self worth who determined that choice, not cultural obligations and guilt.
I also understood that people can only meet you where they are at in their lives and you can’t hold it against them for not being something or someone you want or need them to be, you need to decide if it’s okay with you or not. It is what it is, and they are who they are, you are who you are. As Brene puts it, ‘the gift of our imperfections”
Finally, being vulnerable, open and true is a courageous gift and not a weakness.
So I started saying no, when I meant no (politely)
Yes when I meant yes. (Enthusiastically)
The society soon shifted around me – Those who were in it for the long haul who loved you to pieces stayed, those who weren’t showed themselves out. Those those who loved conditionally according to their terms, and those who didn’t know how to love you back because you were too hard for each other. Those you could take or leave and those who you can’t live without.
Within that, I walked out of the shadow and into the light. I was comfortable in my own skin and loved, really loved who I was.
I painted, yoga-ed, meditated, laughed, cried, raged, raised, read, reflected, taught and accepted.
And I started The Heartworks Creative – backing myself and who I was in courage, worth and authenticity.
In between, so many blessings, laughter, hope, changes, growth building, love, love, sanding, love, plastering and more love. 😜
2016 has been a good, blessed and remarkable year for me and I hope it’s been a good one for you too ❤️❤️
Here’s to 2017 and new beginnings (new chapter for us too!)